One yr ago today we made the decision to stop treatment. It was an excruciating decision based on excruciating pain. My husband NEVER gave up. He was NOT going to let the cancer get the upper hand. So, this decision terrified me.
3/16 was Jim's last day at work. Dr. Hart (hematological oncologist) had given us her personal cell phone for emergencies. She stayed on the phone with us throughout that night into the next day helping us with his pain. Numerous phone calls for help.
3/22 Dr. Wall (radiation oncologist) made a house call. I shared my concerns with Dr. and he came to check on Jim personally.
I'm not sure how many other oncologist make this much of a personal commitment to a patient but I can tell you that these two cared so deeply, so personally for Jim. Not just as a patient but as the amazing man he was. They could see Jim was unique. They got to know us personally. I cannot say enough about the care we received from the doctors, nurses and technicians at St. Luke's Cancer Center.
Still struggling with my sadness. Still angry. No closer to understanding, "Why Jim?"
God, please explain to me why you find it best that James not be here with us?
How is the world a better place without him here? Don't you see how badly we need him?
Don't you see how badly I need him?
I have cancer. On February 24, 2009, I was diagnosed with a malignant tumor on my spine. For many, this would be a horrifying, devastating revelation, but I choose to treat it as a challenge and a new chapter in my life. In these posts, I'll share with you some of my background, experiences, thoughts and beliefs as I experience this adventure.
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